I love my parents to pieces. They absolutely made a safe space for me, and still do. But where it was safe in the sense of how we normally definie safety, it was not so much in the sense of sharing ideas and speaking to my own emotions or feelings -- and even in my 30's now, that hasn't changed. It's not their fault. There was just so much judgement and denial early on, so many teachings of things that were considered innappropriate, especially as a woman, in a southern religious family. Not to say that there isn't unconditional love, but I do grieve the conversations we could have had.
It sounds like what you're providing for your own is invaluable. And as a previous student, you absolutely fostered that safe place in the classroom too--that challenged and inspired thought and helped us develop empathy and that paved the way for other english classes that would continue to inspire the same and provide a space I didn't have with my family. I've kept a journal ever since I was little, and the changes in my thoughts really started to happen as I delved more into my education and degree. Shoulds are so hard and sadly we cannot travel back to talk to ourselves about these things, but in some sense looking back is a bit of time travel (Carl Sagan style) -- the previous self is helping out the present.
I love that reframing of time travel with our previous self helping our present self. Thank you for this. And I've loved seeing YOU grow from my old classroom space through your own studies and eventually to your own classroom spaces and creative life. Interesting observation about teaching and mothering: when we create these truly safe places for our kids and students, we mirror the very best of them back to them and create fertile space for growth. I suppose the same is true of our own selves if we can silence the critic inside.
I love my parents to pieces. They absolutely made a safe space for me, and still do. But where it was safe in the sense of how we normally definie safety, it was not so much in the sense of sharing ideas and speaking to my own emotions or feelings -- and even in my 30's now, that hasn't changed. It's not their fault. There was just so much judgement and denial early on, so many teachings of things that were considered innappropriate, especially as a woman, in a southern religious family. Not to say that there isn't unconditional love, but I do grieve the conversations we could have had.
It sounds like what you're providing for your own is invaluable. And as a previous student, you absolutely fostered that safe place in the classroom too--that challenged and inspired thought and helped us develop empathy and that paved the way for other english classes that would continue to inspire the same and provide a space I didn't have with my family. I've kept a journal ever since I was little, and the changes in my thoughts really started to happen as I delved more into my education and degree. Shoulds are so hard and sadly we cannot travel back to talk to ourselves about these things, but in some sense looking back is a bit of time travel (Carl Sagan style) -- the previous self is helping out the present.
I love that reframing of time travel with our previous self helping our present self. Thank you for this. And I've loved seeing YOU grow from my old classroom space through your own studies and eventually to your own classroom spaces and creative life. Interesting observation about teaching and mothering: when we create these truly safe places for our kids and students, we mirror the very best of them back to them and create fertile space for growth. I suppose the same is true of our own selves if we can silence the critic inside.